A Pub Guide To Yoga
A long time ago in the orient
In the province of Uttah Rabesh
A yogi invented a method
Whereby mind and body could mesh
A discipline complex, yet simple
Relaxing, yet energy-giving
Divesting oneself of possessions
Yet, leading to quite a good living
Yoga would travel some distance
Eventually reaching the west
All it required was a leotard
A mat and one bloke in a vest
Mostly it's middle-aged women
Often though, there's that bloke too -
Skinny, glazed eyes and receding
Don't ask me why but it's true
Every Tuesday for instance
In a function-room over my bar
Purposeful women march up there
Then never stop for a jar
This is the plain sort of yoga
Done by your mum or your wife
While you're downstairs with a lager
Attempting to shorten your life
Other more fashionable yoga
Practised by Sting and his mates
Lead to Bakhinjuri, Rupshur
These being desirable states
Courses are rather expensive
Run from a centre in Hants
Taught by our spiritual leader
Mustaph bin Absalud Panhts
Martin Newell
In the province of Uttah Rabesh
A yogi invented a method
Whereby mind and body could mesh
A discipline complex, yet simple
Relaxing, yet energy-giving
Divesting oneself of possessions
Yet, leading to quite a good living
Yoga would travel some distance
Eventually reaching the west
All it required was a leotard
A mat and one bloke in a vest
Mostly it's middle-aged women
Often though, there's that bloke too -
Skinny, glazed eyes and receding
Don't ask me why but it's true
Every Tuesday for instance
In a function-room over my bar
Purposeful women march up there
Then never stop for a jar
This is the plain sort of yoga
Done by your mum or your wife
While you're downstairs with a lager
Attempting to shorten your life
Other more fashionable yoga
Practised by Sting and his mates
Lead to Bakhinjuri, Rupshur
These being desirable states
Courses are rather expensive
Run from a centre in Hants
Taught by our spiritual leader
Mustaph bin Absalud Panhts
Martin Newell